Questions to Ask if Youre Ready to Date Again
Are you ready to date again ?
5 Questions you should ask yourself before you start dating
It can be hard to start dating again after a break up, you might have forgotten 'how to flirt', or you might have lost confidence in yourself, you might not trust others in the same way. It is understandable, sometimes family or friends might push you towards the dating scene again because they believe it is the best decision for you.
Do not blame them, they do it keeping their best interest at heart. However, it is important to know whether you feel ready or not. There is no point in rushing towards a new relationship to fill a void, or because you feel pressured by others. It is important that you are honest with yourself. This would prevent time wasting, unnecessary pain and dissapointments. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to understand whether you are ready or not to start dating again.
Are you done 'grieving' your previous relationship?
Many are guilty of running into another relationship as soon as they break up. It is a common coping mecanism that often leads to no good. Usually, you are using that next individual to make up for the loss of your partner. Sooner than later you realise that the next person is not enough and you feel more disappointed.
I believe that before starting to date another person you need to feel at peace with your previous relationship. It does not mean that you are not longer angry at your ex-partner for the pain they caused, it means you no longer want that relationship or that person back. You can acknoledge that they caused pain at some point in your life, but they do no longer have the power to do so.
What have you learnt from your past relationship?
You will always learn something. Maybe it is that you have some boundaries with a point of no- return or maybe it is that you need to learn to set boundaries. You might have learnt that you are not willing to do long-distance, or to move to a different city for that person. Whatever you have learnt from your previous relationship do not throw it out the window. This will help you understand what you want or no longer want in a relationship.
Are you emotionally available?
If you have currently undertaken big projects or big changes un your life that are likely to cause a lot of stress or tension; it is likely that you will be emotionally strained by it. Unless you have high emotional intelligence I would not advise to start a relationship at that point. Similarly, starting a relationship when you are feeling your lowest it is probably not a good idea as your are likely to use(voluntarily or not) another person as a band-aid to cover your problem.
It is important to note that relationships that start at 'your highest' are not without risk. Much research has been done showing how short lived relationships can be after the 'high' moments start to drawn. This is why I believe it is best to start a relationship once you are emotionally stable.
Do you know what you want from a relationship ?
Maybe now you find yourself at a very different stage of life than when you were dating in the past. It means that your might have different priorities or objectives. You may now consider that you would like to have children, or that you would like to travel the world with your significant other.
Consequently, what are you looking for in a partner might have changed too. It could be that you were not paying much attention to what kind of person you wanted to date in the past and simply dated someone because you had 'chemisty'. Hopefully now you have matured and realised what you would like to come home to everyday. It can be just your dog or your cat or even your goldfish; in that case find someone who wants to live in separate houses too. If you have now learnt what personality traits your would like your partner to have, make sure you find someone that matches them. You cannot change someone's personality and ask them to become more warm or cuddly if that is not in their nature, it will only feel fake.
How have you improved yourself?
This is often overlooked. Yet, it does not mean it is unimportant. Have you put more time, focus, and effort into yourself since the break up. What have you done to step up, to be the person that your ideal partner would like?
Once you know the kind of relationship and person you would like you have to ask yourself if you are the type of person that your ideal significant other would want. If that is not the case, improve !
I hope this helps you have a clearer idea. Keep in mind everyone is different, I am not a therapist, I am just you internet grandma trying to help. Remember that time is the best healer. I wish you to experience love again, once you are ready.
Let me know if you have any other questions, comments or ideas!
Best,
Your Kinderbarbie
Source: https://medium.com/@imakinderbarbie/are-you-ready-to-date-again-a6eb018480b8?source=rss------dating_advice-5
0 Response to "Questions to Ask if Youre Ready to Date Again"
Post a Comment